Final Destination 5

Guilty pleasure. If there was ever a time to apply that label to something, this would be it. If you know me, you realize that I have this weird obsession, and I can't put a finger on why. This series of movies are over the top, and completely ridiculous. They are also incredibly entertaining.

They each follow the same formula, more or less: a group of young folk are in a situation, when one of them has a vision of an elaborate, horrible accident. In the first movie, it's a group of kids getting on a plane. The one guy has a vision of the plane exploding. After the vision, they freak out, of course, and proceed to abandon where they were and hence, avoid their deaths. But Death doesn't take kindly to being cheated, so he proceeds to kill everyone - one-by-one - until they are all in the ground as originally intended.

The intro "accident" is akin to the old James Bond pre-song sequence. Each movie in the Bond series had this elaborate, stunt-filled sequence that served as the intro to the movie. To me, the Final Destination sequence is the same kind of thing, except it takes place fifteen minutes in (after the useless character introductions/background) and lasts another good fifteen to twenty minutes. Each movie has to find a way to outdo the previous one. The last hour of the film is watching those characters die in absolutely horrible ways.

I probably haven't done it justice, and that's alright. It's one of those things you just have to see for yourself. Watching people die doesn't sound very enjoyable, but the movies bring it into the comical realm. They're interesting because they're so "elaborate." The death is inevitable, but how is it going to go down? What may seem obvious doesn't turn out to be, as the scene takes a different direction. There is tons of gore for good measure, then we quickly move onto the next. 

While I was at home sick the other day I decided to put number five on, and I realized while watching it how easily these people die. A head gets crushed (and completely explodes), people get decapitated, sheered in half or have rods blasted through their head. It's quite gruesome, really, but then you have to keep in mind that Death working his magic here: how else would a laser-eye surgery machine get turned way up to a point where it melts your eyeball? Rack it up to Death: he makes it happen.

Then I realized, who is giving these people the visions? Their deaths are inescapable, and doesn't really serve as a vehicle that could be used to avoid death in the future. Sure, you get a few extra days of life, but your end is right there. Not only that, but if you're one of the people at the end, you realize that at any moment some freak accident will wipe you out. And it's going to be painful. If we accept that Death has a plan, and is doing what he is doing, is it safe to assume then, that God is also out there? I thought perhaps He was providing the visions, but that would mean he's in on the joke, which doesn't seem his style. No, God just lets Death do whatever he wants. But perhaps that's just reading way too much into it; these movies don't need that much thought allocated to them: they're senseless, amusing, quick and dirty. Can't wait for the next one!

Sphere

Last Christmas I thought it would be a good idea to pick up a few old, used books for my father, who loves reading. I wanted to pick up a bunch of Ludlam's Bourne books, and I did. I snagged a few other items at the same time, then I found a book that really stood out: Sphere, by Michael Crichton. It's an original (first edition? I'm not sure) hardcover edition complete with dust jacket, all of which was in great shape. I picked it up for myself, wrapped it up for Christmas and was happy to open it up Christmas morning. Nobody in my family remembered buying it for me, but that's the way sometimes in our holiday.

Now, for those of you who know me, will realize that I absolutely love the movie adaptation of Sphere. My sister bought the DVD for me for me many Christmases ago, and upon first viewing I knew it was right up my alley. Combine that, and that I really do enjoy a good Crichton book, and it just makes sense for me read the book. But for whatever, it would take me a full year to get around to reading it. And read it I did: after just a few sittings I blasted through the book, loving every page of it.

It was incredibly enjoying: I've watched the movie quite a few times so I have an idea of what's going to happen, but as is always the case, the books expands on every aspect, from the characters, basic plot, to - most importantly - the concepts, ideas and the power.

I've seen quite a few science fiction movies, many of which depicting alien life - often, it's a disappointment for whatever reason. Perhaps it's not how you envisioned them; perhaps the special effects weren't doing it justice. And this book kind of addresses the entire first contact situation; I find it extremely fascinating. Norman's report to the government outlines the entire thing, recommending specific people and expertises that should be present. They discuss quite often the probability that aliens would be humanoid (not likely) or even in a form that we can comprehend. They bring along a mathematician because we all assume that the common language for all intelligent life will be math. Right? Makes sense. 2 + 2 is always 4? But what if other life doesn't use math...what if the only sense we have in common is smell. How do you communicate on that? The possibilities are endless, and a little depressing, really. I want to believe. I always have wanted but sometimes the numbers are so stacked against you; in these cases it's good to remain hopeful. Which is why I love this movie and book. As negative as the probabilities are, here we are, presented with an alien situation.

In fact, the question of what the sphere is never truly answered and that's perfect. Is it alien? They allude to the idea that the sphere was collected - in the future - and brought back. It gives people who enter it the power, of which is never fully explained either. How could it? The power itself is never fully understood, aside that it will bring your thoughts to reality. With great power comes great responsibility, and Crichton demonstrates that the human race is not prepared for something of this magnitude. What we're presented with here is an alien that is neither good nor evil: it remains neutral throughout, simply sitting there. Not really mocking, nor taunting, not even encouraging, or pushy. It acts as almost as an amplifier of our own feelings and desires. We're explorers at heart, curious and emotional. The sphere brings it all out.

Crichton always has a way of making you believe everything he writes. The details are obviously researched, but remain entrenched in fiction. The line between the two is blurred; there's certainly a reason why Jurassic Park was as popular as it was. I read that in grade six and truly believed dinosaurs could be cloned; even to this day it seems like a pretty simple process, right? The same goes with everything presented here, which is mainly the underwater habitat, and the ability to fly through a black hole to travel through time. It's all so reasonable when you're reading it in his words.

I was engrossed from the first few pages; the book is fast paced - a much better pace than the movie. In fact you can see where the movie falls flat: leaving out extra characters, situations, philosophy and science. But it's all good really, I love both of them. It's a quick read, and I highly recommend it.

Star Trek: The Next Generation

When you watch television, and specific shows in particular, do you just go all in? Push your chips into the centre of the table and don't look back; there's no going back here. I was at a party a few years ago and one of my friend's said he obtained all seventeen seasons of ER, and proceeded to watch them all. And when you say "watch them all" you have to keep in mind that it's not a slow process taking place over years; no, this is watching hundreds of hour long episodes within a few weeks, or perhaps months. I did this with the first three seasons of Smallville, and many other shows. The main difference between those shows, and something like The Next Generation, is that you're often getting caught up on a show - a few seasons at worst. TNG has seven seasons, with more than 20 episodes in each. I believe I read that there were 178 episodes altogether. It's scary, and it's taken hold of me.

The show premiered in 1987, when I was six years old. I have a specific memory of laying on the floor, playing with my toys - most likely Lego - in front of the television as my parents watched Star Trek on the set behind me. I would occasionally look back, taking in bits of action here and there. My favourite was Data, of course. I specifically recall the scene where he was quickly moving chips back into some array at super-human speed, in order to save the Enterprise. This scene would be burned into my subconscious forever. Over the years, and as I got older I would watch the show more regularly, but honestly, it was never a big focus. My dad was really into it, although not as much as The Original Series. I have a separate bank of memories devoted to my dad watching TOS on Sunday afternoons while I came and went; I'm pretty sure he tried to get me to watch it, but just never took.

We would share a love for Q (and much to my horror he wasn't in as many episodes as I thought originally). We would watch the movies: the Wrath of Khan, the Voyage Home and Undiscovered Country. I remember watching the premier of Deep Space Nine together, and although it was perhaps in the back of my mind all this time, but I realize now how big a part of my life Star Trek was. It's been on air for ages, and the majority of my life (at least one series or another, ending with Enterprise). In university one of my roomates decided to watch all of Deep Space Nine: it was on the same time every day, and if it was one thing we had back then, was lots of time. I have no idea if he completed it. I've tried doing the same thing on "live tv" before but sometimes things come up and you miss an episode: if you didn't record it there was no chance of going back. I believe another friend would watch Voyager constantly too.

So here I am, with access to the entire series and the desire to keep it going. You see, you need something to watch in the background. Making dinner, and want to watch something between breaks? The Next Generation is there for you. These shows have so much filler it doesn't matter if you pay attention to everything; typically you are fine if you watch the intro, then the conclusion. Basically, they don't require much dedication, and on the other side, it's easy to fall into the episodes. Just geeky and technical enough to be enjoyable, and all the right parts of drama to appeal to the rest of my sensibilities. As I watch various episodes, I have bits of nostalgia burst forth as I recall certain scenes from childhood.

I look forward to consuming the entire series, really experiencing it for the show it was. It's kind of weird too, as I watch the grainy 4:3 image I think about how far the tech has come. Not only in the show, but in how we watch television. My parent's television in the 80s (and most of the 90s) was a 25 or 27 inch (very) curved tube of questionable quality, but impeccable build quality - this thing was built to last. It weighed a ton, and sat on the floor in its wooden house. A giant VCR sat on top, with a potted plant on top of that; occasionally we would have to brush a vine away from the screen. Classic.

Super Gold Controller Club

Does anyone else remember the Nintendo Super Power Club? The way you got in was buying issues of Nintendo Power; I had a subscription to the magazine from around 1990 through 1997. After a while you were kind of enrolled in this club - or cult, which is more like Nintendo's style - and through this, you were able to spend even more money on Nintendo products. Now, it's not the same as the current Club Nintendo, where you register your purchases and get rewards (at least, I don't believe so. There were proof of purchase tags on games and things, I think?). In any event, there are two elements to the inevitable story:

1. You would receive "Power Stamps" every so often in your subscription to the magazine;
2. You could redeem those stamps towards goods in a catalogue of neat products that would arrive periodically.

I'm a collector by nature, so I held onto these stamps for ages. I cut them out and had them in a drawer in my bedroom, safely sealed away and remembered their location to a higher degree than any GPS could offer now. I believe it was 1996, or 1997, that Goldeneye was coming out on the Nintendo 64. Around this time the magazine offered a special, limited edition N64 controller: it was all gold (coloured, mind you). I believe it was a celebration of some anniversary (100th issue of Nintendo Power), and it coincided nicely into the Goldeneye game that had taken over our lives at the time. This was the moment I had been waiting for. I saved up around forty of these precious stamps, which was enough to cover the cost of this precious controller entirely.

Filling out all the forms, and putting the pile of stamps together, I sent away for the controller. I was beaming: this was exciting. There were never very many opportunities back then to get a hold of limited edition video game stuff. I eagerly awaited by the mailbox for weeks, until one day, a wild envelope from Nintendo appears. It was an envelope, a small rectangular, carefully folded piece of paper, containing nothing but more paper. There were no electronics inside.

Running upstairs, I ripped the "package" open and read the letter inside. It was grim. I didn't include enough power stamps to cover the cost of the controller. The details escape me, but I swear I was only two or three short. Was it the taxes that killed me? Did I miscount the stamps? These things allude me to this day, but the fact was: I had to give them more money. I don't remember how, exactly - perhaps my parents wrote a cheque for the difference, perhaps I tumbled a bunch of quarters in) - but I sent it off again, and waited through more weeks of anguished excitement.

Another envelope appears. They are out of stock.

There was nothing more crushing at the time. This limited edition was limited and I missed the boat. They sent me brand new power stamps, but they were worthless to me. A short time later I think the Power Club or whatever it was, was dissolved and any opportunity to use them vanished. They still exist in a box somewhere, I'm sure, but I couldn't tell you exactly.

Fast forward more than a dozen years later and Nintendo is releasing a gold Classic Controller for the Wii, bundled with the Goldeneye remake. Of course, I buy it immediately, but it's not satisfying. I'm not sure obtaining the original N64 gold controller would make me happy anymore. I got over the loss, right? What reminds me of this is doing the pre-order for Skyward Sword, that includes the gold Wii-mote. My younger self momentarily took control in the games shop and with access to disposable income - something missing when I was a teenager - I was able to secure the newest gold controller without any doubt. I picked it up on release day, opened the package and held it in my hand. I flipped it around, looked at the decals on the front, then returned the controller to its box. That box was closed up and put on the shelf. I'm unsure at this point if I'll ever play the game, or even use that gold controller. But I can rest easy knowing it's there, and knowing that that gold N64 is out there too: for the right price.

Our Idiot Brother

This movie looked stupid. Well, perhaps idiotic. I'm not sure, but I think it was meant to be that way. The trailer flew under my radar, dismissed as mere comedic fodder thrown against the juggernauts that are summer blockbusters. It certainly doesn't help that it came out near the end of the summer, just about the time I stopped going to the theatre - although in saying that I realize that it would be unlikely that I would take in this movie at the theatre, unless it was part of a double feature paired with a more desirable movie. Sometimes it's how you find those hidden gems.

So it's Paul Rudd, as an idiot (Ned) - I suppose - who gets himself in trouble - because he's an idiot - and the movie proceeds to write itself afterwards, right? In re-watching the trailer, I'm surprised to see that it doesn't give everything away, but it also makes me wonder what could make this movie stand above the rest, and indeed, there isn't anything, save for Ned's incredibly beautiful sisters. I mean incredible. Go spend some time on Google doing an image search. I'll wait.

Zoeey, say no more. Elizabeth Banks? Please. Emily Mortimer? More, thank you. You want Rashida Jones? Here you go. I think the only reason I put this onto the radar, and was (slightly) excited to watch it was because of the trifecta above (Jones isn't one of the sisters, so I guess she doesn't count. Not sure why, don't argue). So back onto the plot synopsis: Ned gets himself in trouble with the law, goes to jail and is released early on good behaviour. Of course, he's a bit of a carefree hippy, and jail presumably fits him fine: it doesn't affect his laid back attitude, which gets on the nerves of his sisters. He is pushed to live with each sister one after another, as he seemingly destroys some aspect of their lives with his "idiot-ness."

But it's not all idiot, of course. Ned has redeeming qualities that pulls everyone together, but more importantly allows people to see in another way. He's not actually an idiot: he's simple, loving and just looks at things differently. It's all very touching, yes, and decently funny, but nothing special.

Skyrim: Immersion

I did not put any consideration into my character before starting the game. In fact, the character creation in Oblivion happened so long ago and was completely forgotten. I forgot that you even choose your name, so when I was prompted in Skyrim to do so, I put in my typical handle: Ryebone. I didn't realize until half a dozen hours later that this was not ideal. For the most part it has no influence over the game, but there are moments where it blares itself: say you are being assassinated, and kill the assassin. Read the note on their body and find out there is a contract on your head, naming you specifically. It's a bit odd jarring to see Ryebone in there: it's not very Elder Scrolls-esque. But such as it is.

Redguard was my race of choice in Oblivion, as it is in this game as well. I feel like they are well rounded fighters, good at using all weapons, and able to capably wield magic. They fit my play style perfectly. However, in Skyrim, the skills and leveling are handled - in my opinion - much better. If you chose a race that excels in magic, you simply get a head start in the skill tree. If I keep casting destruction skills, but destruction levels up and when you're at the max level, everybody is the same. Sure, there are other benefits here and there, like Nord's being more resistant to cold, but whatever. Perhaps my dragon-born character is a descendant of my redguard champion from Oblivion. 

There are many posts about people getting immersed in the game, and I realize that this is a role playing game and that's how people approach it. They create characters and their own backstories, and what amazes me most is how they create artificial rules for themselves while playing the game. It could be something as absurd as being a vegetarian. It's certainly possible: you find lots of fruits and different foods: simply avoid meats and perhaps avoid killing the cute little foxes and rabbits running around. I guess this is a sandbox game that allows you to do quite a bit. I never really looked at it like that: I play the game as I do subconsciously: I use basic magic, and specializing in one-handed blades. I like to keep a tidy house, and collect one of every item I get my hands on. I sell the rest. 

A few difference exist between the two characters. The major difference between my character in Oblivion and Skyrim is that I never sneak, unless the opportunity is too grand to pass up. Oblivion's Varrus (my character) was a devious bastard, who would sneak up to everyone and smash them across the room with his sword. He wore light armour exclusively - another different from my heavy armour loving Redguard in Skyrim.Finally, I am not a thief (not yet - I haven't tackled the thieve's guild storyline yet). I stole everything in Oblivion, and I did it primarily for money, so I can buy better gear. This does not seem to be necessary in Skyrim, as I haven't stolen a single thing yet for profit.

But I never really immerse myself like a traditional role play. I guess, I am playing the game as the game allows me: I'm not doing anything wrong. There's a beauty in that, and it's a big part in what makes this game so great and why it's so universally accepted by a variety of gamers. Be a mage, be a stealth archer, be a tank: it's all up to you. And for the first time in one of these giant games, I'm looking forward to trying a second character.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes. Everyone knows what it is; everyone knows "the twist." But I discovered this past summer that the fact is not so. I was on a "date" or something with a girl while Rise was out in theatres; as we discuss movies I mention that it's on. She asks: "what's planet of the apes?" I quickly scan her face to look for sarcasm, or anything else that would lead me to believe she was joking. I was in disbelief for a bit, and I certainly followed through with my investigation. Put a hat on my head, a cigar in my mouth and a brightly burning naked bulb overhead and I was able to determine that the suspect was telling the truth.

It made me a little sad. I was under the distinct impression that all generations were familiar with this ape planet. After all, Tim Burton's remake from ten years ago (that's right, TEN years, get over it) hit the scene and was somewhat controversial, or at least, I remember it that way. I certainly remember discussion going on, and I remember it hitting the theatres. My roommate had purchased it on two disc special edition DVD, and while he was away on Christmas break I had a look. It was decent enough, and certainly forgettable - at least, I have to assume as such because I really don't remember it.

Then again, I don't really remember watching the original either, although it is fact that I did. It's one of those important films my dad ensured that I would not miss, and for that, I'm forever thankful. It's movies like that, that shaped my love for cinema and my interests so sharply (or broadly, if you can accept that).

It was surprising that after the generally accepted "failure" of the remake, that another modern adaptation would be made. But then you're watching the trailer and James Franco appears - as if out of nowhere - and immediately credence is with the movie. The title is relatively obvious; in just a few words you know the entire plot of the movie. The apes are looking to take over, and here's their story. And it's a decent story, truth be told. I was entertained: the action was good, the story adequate and the special effects solid. I didn't feel as though the movie dragged on, or was very absurd. The only thing that felt out of place was Heston's classic line "keep your hands off me you damn, dirty ape."

Caeser does a fantastic job here, although I found his motivation for turning so "evil" to be a bit far-fetched. Sure, he is left behind, but why doesn't anyone explain to him why? Seems like it might have helped his anger issues a bit, although in the end it doesn't matter. As it should be, it's humans who will undo themselves, this time through playing with genetics (of course). You're practically watching an alternate version of 28 Days Later and any other movie that is remotely similar, which is fine by me and perhaps a bit unfair.

Another Earth

I really enjoy these well-done science fiction movies. Take a look at Moon, for instance. Sure, it's set on the actual Moon, involves cloning but it's about so much more than that. In fact, you could classify these movies as more mainstream sci-fi - I don't know - in that people who don't like the sci, will still like the fi. Makes sense? No, probably not. How about Another Earth: this is a movie set in a world where our world can be seen in the sky at all times. Confusing, but I'm just making it that way.

Imagine looking up in the sky on your way to work, and you see Earth hovering far above us, like the Moon normally does. An entire planet in "close" proximity that has the exact same continent structures as our own, and in fact even has an identical moon to ours. It sends shivers up my spine. So there's that, which is why I know about this movie, but it's not the story. The real story is emotional and moving, of course, and really well acted. A woman's life is changed forever through a horrible accident, and she becomes obsessed with the other lives she has affected. Vague, really, but I don't want to spoil too much for you. This girl - racked with guilt - befriends the victim and dreams of life on the other Earth.

So what's on the other Earth? I love how subtle the movie is; without compromising the humanity of the story itself, we get doses of fairly interesting science fiction sprinkled throughout. This is mostly done via the classic news casts: characters catch bits and pieces of the news on television, and just like the characters themselves, we're allowed to become a regular viewer. I've probably mentioned this before: in Independence Day we start off the same way. "Regular" people hearing the news, seeing objects in the sky, etc. We can relate to all of that, but we get a major disconnect when these same characters walk into the President's office and proceed to hang out in Area 51. We get to stay human in this movie: it's easy to put yourself in their place.

One major moment that really made the movie for me was the "first contact" scene. A family watching the event on live television, with curiosity, fear and excitement. It's the type of moment that makes me fall in love with these independent, subtle sci-fi movies. Check it out.

Skyrim

I'm not sure where to even begin. How do you? That's part of the obstacle: the mental hurdle of knowing - simply being aware - that you are going to have this game spinning at home, and you are going to lose dozens of hours of your life. It's inevitable. Since playing Oblivion I've feared the sequel; I put over 120 hours into the fourth Elder Scrolls game, and I anticipate spending even more with Skyrim, the fifth in the series.

So far, I'm easily on track. In fact, if you look at my "epic" run of Fallout 3 hovering around 80 hours over five or six weeks, the 32 hours I've invested in the first seven days since release I'm quite on track to hit some number that I don't care to calculate. Quite simply I should surpass Fallout 3 within the week or two, and most likely Oblivion a few weeks after that. It's scary: how is this possible? What makes it all click? It doesn't matter, and I'm not going to explore this. Just accept the fact that this happens, and if you choose to play, it will happen to you to. For all of us non-drug users, I would imagine this is as close to chemical addiction that we're going to get to.

Indeed, I pre-ordered the game, picked it up and began playing almost immediately. My sister asked if I would babysit my niece Friday night. I told her it was Skyrim release day, like that should mean something. She responds by asking when the movie starts, thinking that perhaps I could just go to a later showing. Little did she know the weight of the situation. I would pick up my niece from daycare, go to EB and pick up my copy of the collector's edition. My niece didn't care that the box was so gigantic, and that it contained a foot-tall dragon "statue" inside. She wanted to see me play it, but I knew how futile something like that would be: I knew the intro would be long, dramatic and boring to a five year old. It would have to wait. My sister would get home, then I head home after and just around midnight, I have the game unboxed and installing on the drive. I would begin playing.

For the remainder of the weekend, I couldn't stop. It was exactly what I expected to happen, but even then, I'm not sure I was prepared. How could you be? How can anyone? It's practically unfair what they do to us. Infinite quests? Are you serious? I enjoy going through a list of quests to do, completing them and moving on. In this game when you return from a quest, that same person has another waiting for you. Most of the time I'm not sure if these are "main" quests or not, although after so many hours it's fairly evident that any mundane fetch quests are part of this "radiant quest" system. There's so much to do and so much to explore it's overwhelming, and the only way to approach things is systematically. So that's where I go from there: find an entry point, quest it out, get some achievements and move on. Stop talking to random strangers because everybody has something they want you to do.

Has it been fun? It has, for the most part. Playing for extended periods of time is physically exhausting. You get tired of the repetition and when you want to quit, that's when you find yourself in a dungeon that never ends. You have to take breaks, or else you will go mad. When I originally played Oblivion I don't recall having so much free time. It took months to do what I anticipate will only take weeks here.

The Dark Knight

As I mentioned a short while ago, Blockbuster closed all their stores, leaving all sorts of vacant consumer space around towns. Before BBV moved into one of the locations in town, it was a car shop - or something - but it cleaned up nicely. So what would move into the location now that Blockbuster walked away? A liquidation book and DVD store, of course. The Blockbuster signs are still lit up, the shelves in tact, and full of DVDs again.

Oddly enough none of the movies in the store are from Blockbuster. Each one is new - factory sealed and ready for you to buy it. Each movie is priced at $5, although there are some priced higher, such as television series or box sets. They have a modest Bluray collection as well, all priced at $8. They also have books, but mostly all garbage (except for the kid's books, I guess).

So, I was browsing around and found something interesting: The Dark Knight, Batpod edition. Basically this is the two disc version of the Bluray, but with a very cheap model of the Batpod that was featured in the movie. It was only $10. The regular movie sans pod costs more than that. It was a good movie. I had to buy it.

I ripped the packaging open when I got home and yes, the rumours are true: the model is incredibly cheap, flimsy and let's face it, the Batpod is not all that interesting to begin with. I would much prefer a die-cast model of the entire Batmobile, or something. This plastic is just cheap. It's collectible though, and fun: it fits on the shelf nicely and looks decent enough.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

And all of a sudden, I am terrified of Decepticons. It's not because they are huge, menacing robots or anything. It's because they now wield War of the Worlds-level human-evaporation technology. In the Tom Cruise vehicle I discovered that I was terrified of such things: it was done so much better than when I saw it the first time in the original (campy) Batman series where they turned a bunch of people into dust. The instantaneous destruction of humans, and the disconnect between their deaths and any emotion was kind of hard to swallow. With all that being said, you should just know that I'm disturbed when people just get evaporated in these sci-fi movies and shows (looking at you too Wrath of Khan). It happens in this Transformers, but so non-nonchalantly. In fact, it's worse: there is a scene where a Decepticon fires his ray at a group of people: they evaporate, but then you see a skull rolling down the sidewalk. These people weren't completed dusted: their skin and flesh were just melted off instantly, leaving behind those pesky bones. And, assuming this movie is meant for people of all ages, I was disturbed even moreso. Perhaps it was the high definition that made it more visible (I love my television) and the fact that I couldn't stop looking my fear in the face.

I'll be talking about stuff in the movie that may spoil it for you, although I'm sure YOU won't care. Yes, it's true: nobody would go see this movie with me. Granted, the first two were "terrible." Terrible in the sense that I enjoyed the first one - but could barely stand to watch it a couple of more times - and the second one was wretched: I haven't seen it again. So with a bad track record, Feed the Voices wouldn't come to the movie with me. I promised him hot robot action. Big robot action. Effects that will be mindblowing. I couldn't promise a coherent film that functions on the basic levels of cinema, and I guess that's important to some people. It can't be important all the time though: I really just wanted to see crazy robots with crazy explosions fighting each other, in crazy spectacular. The movie would deliver on all fronts (except that pesky plot and acting business).

First, the violence is brutal. It's weird: when I was a kid I wasn't allowed to play with regular G.I. Joe's; perhaps the "real" guns and mix of human violence was too much and my mom didn't want me to be negatively influenced into a life of wretched crime. So, I stuck with Transformers, who by contrast were not human, and shot at one another with lasers. In retrospect, I don't see how this was less violent, but it didn't matter, because Transformers are better than G.I. Joe any day of the week regardless. So what we have is a situation, the situation is this: because they are robots, they are allowed to do much more grotesque things to one another. Robots die in a horrible fashion: Optimus sticks his power ax in the face of Megatron, flips around him and not only rips his head off, but also the robot equivalent of his spine. It was horrific.

It continues too. Guns are inserted into the bodies of Decepticons and fired, blowing out their innards and spraying gears and sprockets all over the place. Heads are torn in half. It was present in the previous two, to a degree, but not to this level. Conventional movies have to pare down their violence: quick, confused shots and other trickery. Most hide it, or imply it off-screen. Transformers can just show us everything on screen, in slow motion, in super high resolution glory. It's disturbing, but it's also extremely awesome. Eight year old Ryebone was jumping for joy as these horrible acts were taking place. It's his imagination piped directly onto the big screen, and it rocks.

You may ask yourself: but this is Transformers, the movie must suck, right? Well, no. I enjoyed it. All two and a half hours. It was real fun to watch, but yes, there were some negatives. The plot, as a whole, was solid, and I think it finds its power in it simplicity. It's no more complicated than one of the original cartoon series, or something I thought of a a child. It's in all the filler that it goes wrong: Shia is unemployed and bummed out. We're treated to a "funny" montage of job interviews, which ends on a peculiar cameo from John Malkovich. Perhaps it's because I was browsing reddit for the first half of the movie, but I didn't understand Ken Jeong's appearance (most notably from Hangover fame) and subequent comic relief (and tragic death). It all serves as a purpose to get Shia back into the government and fighting Decepticons. You see, they don't have any use for him anymore and people still doubt him, even though he saved the world twice. He travels to Russia at one point, uncovers the secret Decepticon plot, and is then accepted again, and the entire first half hour seemed like a waste of time. It was delaying the inevitable action, of which there was plenty: I actually put down the laptop and focused on the movie.

Another thing I couldnt' get over were all the "cameo" bits played by relatively famous people. That guy from Grey's Anatomy had a big role; Frances Mcdormand was in there, and again: John Malkovich. Didn't they see the first two? What were they thinking? Last, but not least, is Leonard Nimoy coming back to the Transformers movies as the voice of Sentinel Prime. I thought he was retired, but I'm very glad he came back for this.

I was sad to see a couple of Autobats die, but I had to admit that I didn't know who died until after the movie (when I looked it up). You see, one of my main problems with these movies is that the robots are so complex visually, I can't tell them apart. The action typically goes so fast, or there is so much on screen at once, that you can't see much difference between them. They resolve this by making one of them look like Einstein, but in typical fashion, they obliterate him. Also, I thought it was funny that all the computers were Lenovo. All white, just like Mac, but not.

So there you have it. It may sound unbelievable but I enjoyed the film. It was simple, full of action and better than the other two entries. Sure, it had great moments of ridiculousness, terrible acting and senseless moments, but we're watching a Michael Bay film here. Come on.

The Fall of Tiny Tower

As you may recall, I was hardcore into Tiny Tower. One of the aspects of the game is shutting your bitizens up the tower to their requested floor; the more floors you have the longer this could take, as the elevator only moves so fast. So, you can upgrade your elevator by using tower bux. You can spend real money to buy bux, or you can earn them throughout the game: by delivering people and getting tips, fully stocking floors and fulfilling people's dream jobs.

I upgraded my elevators to a point where the next was the infini-lift, which was crazy fast, but also crazy expensive at 499 tower bux. It would take a long time to accumulate that many, but it was a goal I wanted to head towards.

Over the weeks I would take many opportunities to "play" the game. When I'm visiting my parents, when I'm watching television or movies, etc. Two weekends ago I hit 400. And I decided to go for it. I started around nine with a movie, and continued playing continuously until I hit 499, then I bought the elevator. By this time it was nearly one in the morning, and I was exhausted. The elevator was just as fast as promised, and suprisingly controllable.

The next day I had no urge to play the game: you see, there are no faster elevators. I have no urge to save up and accumulate tower bux, as the only thing I can really do with them is move floors around and buyout product to make quick cash. I don't want to find people anymore, as it's time consuming and a waste of time now. So my playing of the game has slowed considerably, and I just think to myself how thankful I am that I didn't invest any real money in the title - although it wouldn't be such a terrible thing as I spent so much time in the game.

Also of note is that I discovered there is a limit to your tower: around 130 floors. I guess they can add more floors with updates - more businesses. Will I reach it? There is no doubt, over time that I will, but my gusto to do this has fallen considerably. With no clear goal, and the time required to build floors, it's just not happening. It was fun while it lasted!

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

I never saw the remake with Travolta and Washington, and not for any real good reason, of course. Perhaps it looked like another one of Denzel's generic "action" pieces. The original is on Netflix, and with the proper alignment of the stars and planets, I immediately put it on. I've always been a bit prejudiced against older films: they lack a certain sheen that newer movies have. A certain bit of processing that may or may not be a good thing. But, I've been taking in some older films over the past year or so, and have been pleasantly surprised.

Pelham is no slouch, and I'm impressed with the movie on all levels. I've mentioned it before but it's worth mentioning again: the characters, sets and writing all feel "lived in." That is to say, it really feels like they just set up a camera in an actual control centre and subway tunnel and just let the film fly. Round it out with believable characters: there's not a single attractive person to be seen here. I was recently listening to an audio commentary from Doug Limen on The Bourne Identity and he mentioned one of the director's assistant's duties: to make the world believable. This involves directing extras, ensuring there is traffic on the streets and basically presenting us with a world that we find believable, so we don't immediately think we're looking at a set. I think this practice has been lost over the years, as these old movies seem to nail it perfectly.

Walter Matthau is fantastic, bringing a wry sense of humour to his role that drives the film.

The end of the movie is brilliant. The bad guys know the end is up and there is no big reveal. They don't have a backup plan. In today's movies they have backups to backups to backups, and false endings abound aplenty. Not here: the bad guys lose and the good guys do what they must. Life moves on, and this is driven home during the movie as some characters want to get the train system going again at any cost: are the lives of 20 people worth shutting down the entire subway system in New York for a couple of hours? Clearly, they are, but the question has be put out there.

The crew of hijackers come in disguise and refer to themselves as Mr. Colour. Yes, just like Reservoir Dogs, we have Mr. Brown, Mr. Blue, etc. For some reason I thought it was an invention of Tarantino, but alas, it's another nod to classic and great films of the past.

Also, why are the numerals in the remake's title shortened down to digits? I've always been a fan of the actual words themselves.

And finally, the music is fantastic. If the intro notes don't pull you into the movie, I'm not sure what will.

The Bourne Trilogy

Simply because you bought an item, or registered on a site, will guarantee hundreds of e-mails delivered to you for the rest of your life. Some sites are worse than other, and yes, I'm looking at you Eddie Bauer. I buy one pair of pants from you, sign up to get your card and I receive daily messages. Surely, there are not that many deals or petinent information about clothing every single day. Amazon, on the other hand, deals in a vast array of different items, so getting daily messages from them feels a bit more useful. It's also exciting when they send you something that interests you (a practice they practically pioneered) at nice discounts. Typically these e-mails get deleted quickly, but one message I received the other day was for the Bluray collection of The Bourne Trilogy.

All three movies for $25.

I had downloaded these a while back and basked in their glory, and this deal - just over 60% off the retail price  - was too good to pass up. I shopped around to see if anything else was worth buying: there wasn't. My standards are relatively high, although questionable. I put the item in my cart and proceeded to check out. Then I froze. What am I doing? I haven't been regularly buying movies in ages, especially since purging my DVDs a while back (I still have too many). I took a lunch break, and came back to it at the end of the day, fully resolved to make the purchase. I love the movies.

This is a trilogy that I will enjoy for a long time to come, and yes, I have bought them before (on DVD) and I believe the third movie, on HD DVD. Well, it was time to pay up and buy these movies again; the discounted price is the only reason the decision was on the table to begin with. And I felt that twinge of excitement again. This time around, I wasn't buying out of necessity or because the collection was special in some way. I verified the quality was excellent, and proceeded because the movies are just fantastic. It took me by surprise to see how often I've revisited the films over the years. So now, with the package arriving this afternoon, I find myself watching them again. This time, I'll be watching with an audio commentary, getting some insight into the making of these films.

The Shadow

When I was collecting DVDs I had a good number, and a decent number of those were movies that I actually enjoyed. Further to that, I tried to stay with DVDs that were technically sound, such as: anamorphic video, high bitrates (thanks Superbit), dts sound and so on. There was also a local store called Mudsharks that carried more movies than your regular Wal-Mart or what have you, but the store was basically a drug front (they had movies, music and bongs). All of their movies were available for rent, and purchase. It was a weird system but it was effective in seeing different movies.

One of the movies they always had on the shelf was The Shadow. When I was a kid, I loved this movie - for reasons unknown - and Mudshark's actually carried it. As we always did, I poured over the back cover of the case and analyzed the technical contents within. Something stood out: this film has been modified to fit your screen. That meant full screen. Further analysis confirmed it. This would not stand, and the movie would taunt me as it stood on a thin wooden shelf, unmoving throughout the years. I had memories of the film as a child, and they were good. It's not like I had a widescreen television at the time, so full screen should have sufficed, but I was a film elitist who wanted to see movies the way their director intended (and still do). But one movie here or there - modified - shouldn't be a problem. So why couldn't I rent this classic?

I was terrified of ruining my childhood memories, and it's simple as that. When you're a kid, you see them differently, and over time, your tastes change. Your imagination fills in the blanks and you remember them different - perhaps as some kind of defense mechanism, I'm not sure. But then again, you see some films as a child, like Ghostbusters, and it's still just as awesome as it was back then. So would The Shadow be terrible? Was I fooling myself?

The Shadow is on Netflix, and I faced my fears. I loaded the movie, and much to my delight, it was in widescreen, and high definition (although this type of HD is questionable: more like an upscaled DVD). Regardless of the technical specs - as I tell myself that I've gotten over that - I enjoyed the movie. By all accounts, the movie sucked. The story is so inane that I didn't quite follow it (it didn't help that I was rebuilding my PC in the background at the beginning of the film) and the characters are just wretched. The movie has this weird feel to it, you know, that weird mid-nineties feel. It has that transitionary look to it, where we were moving away from traditional special effects and entering the age of CGI. The miniature work looked fairly cheap, probably because they spent more time with awkward shadow effects and stop motion faces on mystical knives. It's that weird conglomeration that we don't get anymore as everything is CGI.

What I really can't get over is how many stars are in this movie. First, of course is Alec Baldwin as the lead role. Peter Boyle, Tim Curry (!) and Ian McKellen, to name just a few. Perhaps one of the reasons I loved the movie so much as a thirteen year old boy is Penelope Ann Miller. There were also various recognizable characters, such as Patrick Fischler and Ethan Phillips - actors who are just in things, that are always a pleasant suprise when they turn up in your favourite movies. It's like you're happy to see that they've been gainfully employed for so long.

There is a lot of history behind the character The Shadow that I'm completely unaware of, which probably helps in my enjoyment (fanboys I'm sure were able to find lots "wrong" with the interpretation here). It also adds to my enjoyment as I try to piece together some things about him; I love the myth tidbits that are dropped here and there, and can really appreciate that this guy is an older superhero and yes: this movie is a superhero movie without being lumped in with all the recent Marval and DC adaptations. It's my love for the comics that drive me to enjoy this movie, and really makes me sad that we don't get more. I don't remember the final showdown involving the mind so much; it was like watching an early version of The Matrix where The Shadow must free his mind and concentrate on his own reality. If you try too hard, just as Neo casually accepts he is not in a real world, The Shadow must casually accept control of the knife.

Perhaps it sounds crazy but I want more, and if this means I have to buy a few comics books, then so be it. In one of our pilgrimages to Fan Expo I picked up a handful of The Shadow comics, not knowing that this particular series I bought has been derided by fanboys simply because The Shadow uses automatic weapons - a big no no, apparently. All that being said though, and my high regard for the film, doesn't mean you will enjoy it. Nostalgia does have away of clouding a man's mind.

Lenovo Y460 Keyboard Replacement

I've had this Y460 for over a year now and have (basically) been enjoying it quite a bit. Screen is really nice, it's a good size and weight, and it gets the job done, the job being: to surf the internet. There are only a couple of problems: it gets too hot (which is not usually a problem because it's on a cushion on my lap) and the keyboard is terrible. The keyboard's problem is that it's bilingual. You have to understand that in Canada, laptop makers are equipping these bilingual keyboards on almost all their laptops: the ones that seem exempt are more of the professional and business series stuff, so basically anything over $1000. For those more inexpensive models, we get a bilingual one.

What does this mean? Some of the buttons are changed around, which I can deal with, for the most part. But they made one grave error, that I can't forgive: they've shrunk the left shift button down, and pushed it further to the left. This key is the key that I use for capitalization every. single. time. When they move it, my decades of habit are ruined and I can't type properly. It's made typing very difficult, with a lot of mistakes. It's slowed me down but over the past year I've gotten pretty used to it.

When I first got this laptop I contacted Lenovo to see if the modified keyboard was on it: they assured me it wasn't, but I was obviously talking to someone who didn't know anything. I received the laptop and the funny keys were there; however, returning it would be a pain, and there wasn't any better option at the time. I even called them up to try and replace it, but it was a no go.

So the other day it popped into my head and I went looking online to see if I could buy a replacement US-layout keyboard. Turns out we have a guy in Ottawa selling them for $32. The others were all coming from Hong Kong, presumably where they are made. I placed my order and it arrived just a few days later. The switch is very easy: replacing keyboards on laptops is probably one of the easier things you can do on it. Flip the laptop over, take out the battery and remove seven screws. Flip it back over and the bezel just above the keyboard can be flipped up. This is always a scary part as you feel like you're breaking the plastic clips that are holding it there. A flathead screwdriver is a good idea here. The keyboard then slides out easily - although do it slowly as there is a thin ribbon that connects it to the motherboard. Flip a switch, pull it out and the other goes in just as smoothly. Snapped everything back into place and I was in business.

And now I have my regular, traditional keyboard back. And typing this up on it is much easier. Here is a comparison shot: the top is the old, bilingual one and the bottom is the US layout.

So Long Blockbuster...

Sometimes I can measure the success of various things - such as television shows, movies and rental chains - by my interest in me. That is to say: if I lose interest in it, then all of society has lost interest in it. Perhaps that's a bit self-centered and absorbed. Either way you shake it, my interest in Blockbuster started it's decline about six years ago, and I'm going to make the leap and say this is around the time that Blockbuster began it's decline into irrelevance. It's also around the time Netflix was picking up in business.

Of course, Netflix with it's mail order business was not available in Canada, however, Zip was. I tried it out, but when people began stealing DVDs out of my mailbox and my account was frozen/investigated - I lost interest. This is rare case where the rest of society disagreed with me, but I knew the service just wasn't for me.  In this case I was ahead of the curve: I knew digital media and distribution thereof was the future. My physical movie purchases declined rapidly. In 2005 they stopped altogether: the announcement and release of HD-DVD and Bluray nailed it. At that point I sold off the vast majority of my collection in order to begin the high definition indulgence. Unfortunately we still had a ways to go. I digress though, let's focus on Blockbuster again.

My first memory of Blockbuster was in the early 90s, when it replaced the Major Video me and my family had frequented for years. Nothing much changed from Major, just different colours. Around the same time we got into Rogers Video, which had gnarly deals on classic films. Blockbuster would be relegated to the new release wall, and some video games - Microplay across the street couldn't be beat for prices and classic games. Blockbuster was also home of video game competitions and a healthy dose of used titles available for purchase. It just did the job, and it did it well.

Throughout the years Blockbuster would become more expensive, but we didn't have much choice: they basically drove other video rental places out of business. My friends and I - during university - would frequent Blockbuster all the time for movie and game rentals, and very rarely purchases (it was incredibly overpriced). It was always a stop in our outings, but the frequency at which we used the store diminished. When I moved back to Kingston Blockbuster all but ceased to be in the rotation. We had other, more convenient and less expensive options to explore. That, and we just didn't need to rent anymore.

From 2005 onwards Blockbuster would become a joke: in Canada, they stopped charging late fees. This was great, as I could rent a game, spend a month or so on it and return it when I was done. This is how playing the Call of Duty series was for me. They charged a restocking fee if you were incredibly late, but the fee was a joke, seriously. Then digital distribution took over very quickly, and as of last year, Netflix offered it's online variant in Canada. I hadn't used my Blockbuster card in ages, and now I'm not even sure where it went. For the cost of a single new release rental, you could get access (through Netflix) to hundreds of films (although their relevance is questionable) and television shows (again, poor shows). If you watch a movie or two on Netflix, it's considered "worth it" and you move on. You don't even miss new releases that much, especially if you frequent the movie theatre and have seen them all beforehand.

Over the past year the chain has been in the news, as they close down stores in the US and file for protection. We didn't really feel it in Canada until fairly recently, then all of a sudden, a couple of weeks ago, the announcement that all stores would be closing. A bit sad, sure (for the employees) but everyone knew why. They just didn't innovate or keep with the times. It was a slow roll into oblivion, but once it got rolling it rolled hard and fast. I went to the local stores to see if they were having closeout sales. Not yet. A week later they did. I arrived in the middle of the afternoon and found a lineup outside. The busiest the store has ever been, I'm sure. I waited, and when I was granted access I wanted to leave right away. 25% off just about everything, and not a thing I had an interest in buying. Another week would pass and they upped the deal to 40% off, which made things interesting. I ended up buying a few used games, but no movies. Another few days pass and I receive an e-mail saying it's 50% off, then the next day 70% off. As I drive by the stores today, the lights are out. Cleared out and empty. Demure brick and mortar stores that will lay empty for a time. New stores will move in and we'll describe their location to people as "the place Blockbuster used to be."

It was never really my favourite chain, or rental store. There have always been better ones, but it had its place. I'm sure, one day while cleaning out a random drawer, my Blockbuster card will show up. I'll pick it up fondly and be reminded of the good old days, while I look onwards to the future. So long, Blockbuster, it was a decent run.

Mortal Kombat

It's no secret I've been heavily into gaming my entire life, and continue to be without shame. I embrace new games and appreciate the older ones. I feel like I grew up with the modern gaming industry; that is to say, my first console was the Atari 2600, then the NES and so on and so forth through all the iterations. I have clear memories of all of these, and experience with a huge number of games for these systems. But I grew up in parallel to the "growing up" of the industry. What I mean there is that every generation of console and games has been aimed directly at me (well, my demographic). The NES was a kids system, and so was I. When the SNES and Genesis came out, we were all entering the double digits and our teens. When Mortal Kombat was coming out I was eleven years old. The ensuing years would be a battle for maturing gamers, and some games like Mortal Kombat were using blood and violence as weapons.

They drew the line in their arcade titles, and both Nintendo and Sega took a side. The SNES (my favourite) would be technically superior but was lacking in blood, whereas the Genesis was a bit faster and most of the blood was intact. The Mortal Kombat II port would blur the line a bit more, as Nintendo gave in a bit. At the same time Night Trap ensured we ushered in a solid voluntary ratings system for games that's still around today. The MK series definitely had it's part in the ratings system as it upset parents all over. I don't think my parents knew what was going on, or they recognized that I was mature enough to understand the difference between video game violence and the real deal. Either way, I don't think the blood in MK really affected me one way or another: I just really enjoyed following the news in the industry.

So as we matured - or at least, grew older - the games were being marketed to older crowds and we were there to receive them. I wasn't completely impervious: I played MK in the arcade, and rented the titles when they were released for home. I just didn't get what the big deal was about: the stop-motion photographs you were playing were slow and clunky to me; the moves were awkward and the combat was uninspired. I tried, even buying MK3 for the PC (of all platforms) but was disappointed by every title. My favourite (perhaps because it was most memorable for me) was MKII, but I never did own it.

However, the Mortal Kombat series always had a place in my own and my friends' hearts. When 1995 rolled around and the movie came out, there was no doubt: we were going. By this time I had moved back to Kingston; my best friend at the time was coming up for a few days to visit, conveniently timed with the release of the movie. We would walk over to the theatre, throw down our allowance and be taken in awe. Right from the beginning of the movie you are blasted with the insane soundtrack, a soundtrack that I would immediately buy and would see more play than I care to mention. There would be many times that I'm sure the neighbours would hear the Mortal Kombat yell, followed by a thumping bass, and roll their eyes. But we were young, impressionable young men. The electronica soundtrack was crucial in opening my eyes to bands and artists that produced music that reminded me of quality 8-bit tunes from the NES.

Watching the movie again last night, and I was warped back to the mid-nineties and memories of rocking out to some of the wacky tunes on that soundtrack. I was also reminded of sitting in the theatre and being excited about it all: this was a video game movie done right. It didn't try and get too complicated: a simple story of warriors gathering together for a tournament, then systematically fighting their way from battle to battle. The foes keep getting tougher, and more interesting, and the action never really slows down.

I couldn't tell you the last time I saw this movie; for all I know it was fourteen or fifteen years ago. But the one thing that glares out at you is the CG. I really wish they didn't use it. It must have been groundbreaking at the time, but it hasn't aged well whatsoever. In fact it was quite terrible. So terrible I got a real kick out of it now: this movie was actually pretty damn entertaining. Is it safe to say it's reached a cult status? Apparently this movie was at the top of the box office for three full weeks upon release - perhaps a testament to how terrible other movies were at the time, but still pretty impressive anyway. For a moment, at least, I was transported back to being fourteen years old again, watching this movie in the theatre. I was in awe of the special effects, the girls and the fighting back then, and now, I can appreciate it on a whole new level.

Entourage: Series Finale

Many years ago I blasted through the first three season of Entourage. It was an addiction, I'm sure, but the series was really good. And it stayed good for quite some time; perhaps in the seventh season things took a bit of a stumble. And then I was suddenly watching the final season, and another sudden I'm done watching the last episode. I sit back and wonder what happened, where did it all go? Why were there only eight episodes in the final season? The show is practically an afterthought (but then there is all that talk about an Entourage movie).

Lately I've been finding myself watching the series finale of a few different shows I've been in tune with for quite some time. Entourage was always the go-to one for a quick (half hour) show that offered a glimpse into a surreal Hollywood of celebrities and general insanity. More importantly it was a glimpse into friendship: the entourage itself consisted of four guys who couldnt' be any closer. They share everything and depend on one another, but also thrive off one another. Fighting happens but they always rebound; the friendships are beyond a level at which feelings can be much of a concern.

But I wanted to comment on the finale itself. I'm happy with it. It's a pretty happy ending that didn't need to wrap things up because that's not how the show is. In fact it ends just as any other season: a delicate balancing act between offering more intrigue and leaving doors open, leaving the audience satisfied to a degree that the show could never come back and we know things are O.K. Well, perhaps not the last season with Vince ending the season being caught with drugs, but that's why I say the last season was a bit of a low point for the series. Essentially, the show doesn't leave you with cliffhangers. The show ends with you wanting much more, as it hits a stride that ends abruptly.

You could argue - I suppose - that things were wrapped up too easily. Especially in regards to E and Sloan's relationship. Ari's marriage is perhaps the only thing that has had a proper arc throughout the series. Everyone comes out a winner and when the credits rolled, I was happy (the most important thing).

Celebrity Encounter

Society has always had a rage for celebrities and the obviousness is so high that I don't even need to talk about it: you simply know what's going on and by extension, what I'm hinting at. You probably agree with me. Are you confused? Certainly, but you should know that I have never felt that craze for celebrities. I've never sought out autographs or stalked their houses in a balaclava. OK, that's a lie: when I was a kid I was so obsessed over the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that I begged my parents for anything with their imagery on it; I begged my parents to take me to their ice show, and in my only victory, had my parents drop me off at the mall to get their autographs. That session would seal up the celebrity crush factor in my soul forever.

Imagine hundreds of seven to fourteen year olds clamoring around some poor guy in a Donatello suit, screaming for autographs. Those images you see on television where the all the teenage girls are clamoring for people like Justin Bieber? That's nothing; this, this was something else. My friend and I ran from turtle to turtle, trying to get an autograph. In my mind, I succeeded but once or twice, giving up quickly afterwards. To add insult to injury, we only had scraps of paper: take one piece of letter paper, tear it up into four pieces and that's what we were throwing in Raph's face. It's like we weren't even prepared for it, but then again, I don't think the organizers of the event were either. It was a clamor, nothing organized, and in the end on the drive on, I knew it didn't matter: they were just dudes making minimum wage in Turtle costumes.

Further testimony to my unwillingness to care about meeting celebrities would come at the Fan Expo. Year after year there would be dozens of them there - this time organized - that I would walk by without even thinking about. There they were: I didn't even want a photo.

"Hey, there's Lando Calrissian."

"Yup, there he is."

My friend and I continue to walk on, barely trying to get a picture and agreeing that paying $20 for Billy Dee Williams' autograph is not worth the five minute wait in line or worse yet, the awkward conversation that would most assuredly take place. Just a few years previous to this, the same friend and I were drinking on a patio in downtown Kingston; out walks Dan Aykroyd (and his burly entourage). What is the response? My friend decides to yell at him a bit - I don't recall what exactly but I believe it was related to his weight - and Dan doesn't blink an eye. Good for him, but the situation could have been better: everyone had a few drinks and Dan is a regular guest in the Kingston scene. I'm sure he's a great guy, but he wasn't getting any respect that night.

But I digress: I wanted to discuss my encounter with James Cromwell this past weekend. Cromwell, unlike Aykroyd, is an actor that I can respect more so than Aykroyd (even though he was in Ghostbusters). With such great movies like L.A. Confidential and his multiple turnouts in the Star Trek series (among others) he has my respect. He was also the last one I would expect to see in North Bay, eating at the table behind me. By some random chance I agreed to go out to lunch with my sister; my niece typically dictates where we eat but today she would give in and we would go where my sister wanted to. We enter the restaurant and I'm in a dizzy as my niece runs around: I don't notice other people there. There were very few people there anyway.

Halfway through the meal my sister leans over and tells me that somebody famous is sitting behind me. Obviously I can't wretch my body around to see, and I didn't really care to either. Another patron is walking by, and makes a fool of herself: she doesn't know his name, only that he is an actor that she has seen a while back. He confirms, and she goes about her day. It bothers my sister that she can't remember his name, so I'm instructed to go to the washroom and upon returning, take a look at this actor. I do so, but the washroom puts me on a terrible angle to see who this is, but with Cromwell you don't need an angle. I exit the washroom and from thirty feet away and seeing only a profile of his face, it is plain as day who it is.

"Cool" I say to myself, but I don't feel the excitement that some would. What is he doing here? Do I go say something? That's like asking if I want to make a fool of myself, and invariably the answer is going to be no. I'm pretty shy anyway, so we pay the bill and as I pull my sweater on I twist and turn to catch a few more glimpses. I can confirm that he is quite tall, even sitting down. We leave the restaurant and I immediately make a Facebook status update indicating The Event. I was a bit disappointed when not many people commented on it - although I understand many would not know who he is, and many more would not be reading my status updates anyway.

The randomness of seeing this big star here is not lost on me, and I realized the best thing that I should have done was to ask for a photo with him. But I can walk away satisfied with the encounter as is. As my sister points out, we were so close, sitting back to back, that if we both leaned back a bit and threw our heads in laughter around the same time, we would have bonked together. I feel almost silly laughing at the idea and thinking how great it would be had that happened, but such is the age of living with celebrities. I guess the vile act of meeting the Ninja Turtles when I was nine years old has not completely sullied or excluded me from the celebrity run-in excitement. Perhaps in the future I'll seek them out and acquire an autograph or two.

Alan Wake

There was quite a bit of hype to Alan Wake in the months before release; it was the type of hype that I was barely paying attention to but yet, was the forefront of my gaming conscience. It would be like trying to watch a movie with a giant pillar of glowing blue light coming from your closet: you want to ignore it, and you can ignore it, but curiosity catches up quickly and you have no choice but to throw open the doors. In this case I only opened the doors a crack, and understood at once that I was staring at a different kind of gaming beast. This beast, I knew at that time, would be mine in due time - not upon release, of course - and I would eventually be playing it. Weird how that works, as I barely knew what the game was, how it played or why anyone cared. But they did care, and I picked up on the aura: when the game hit $20 before it should have, I snatched it up, put it in it's place in the collection (its place being the first slot, thanks to alphabetization) and there it sat, for many months.

It sat, calling, for quite some time. It's impossible to determine how much exactly or even approximately. We could be talking a year or more; we could be talking a few months. It's like the title has been there forever yet just arrived - a warning I should have realized regarding how creepy the game is to play. Sure, I was told; my friend had been playing it, and knowing me more than I now myself, informed me that I would be too scared to play it (alone, at least). He would be right, of course: I had a hard time playing Doom 3 back in the day, and I couldn't even make it through the demo of Condemned 2. Alan Wake would be different though. Since I have a bit of extra time during the day, I decided to go for it. I needed a different title to play than Fable III, and this would be just the ticket. 

The weather outside was warm, and more importantly, sunny. This should help with my fears, right? I put the game disc in and let the 360 drive absorb it. Then it happens: the un-Godly whirring noise of a disc being spun to velocity that is trademarked by the Microsoft system. The last time I heard a system make this sort of noise I was playing Project Gotham Racing 3, over five years ago. This problem was supposed to be fixed, right? Apparently my new-ish box is not immune. Quickly exiting the title screen, I was back upon the dashboard and chose the option to install the game, a function typically reserved for reducing load times but in this instance, would also be used to deafen the turbine that was going off in my living room. Unfortunately it takes about a half hour to install a game, and during that process the drive is going at full tilt. I left the room, and upon coming back and seeing the mission accomplished, I turned everything off and occupied my mind with something else. The spark had faded, and I found myself loading up a television show and my laptop: the show as background noise and Reddit as the source of concentration for the next hour.

A week later and I'm able to start playing the game again. This is record time; see, the last time I turned a game off like that was Halo 3, and it took me two whole years to return to it. It happened with Ocarina of Time more than a decade ago, which resulted in a year long hiatus and me restarting from the beginning. Alan Wake would not defeat me like that. It seemed like the gauntlet was thrown down - I'm not sure who did the throwing, but it was there - and I was ready to take up the challenge. The only rule, so far, is that I play while the sun is out. And how fitting it turns out the light is to me, as it is important to the title character himself. As he wields his flashlight, narrowing its beam to weaken enemies, then quickly running to a bright spot where he can recoup his sanity - or at least, my own. After completing the first episode, I fear something else though. I really enjoy the title, and I'm not sure I can not play at night, during prime gaming hours With the sun setting so early it would be unfair to myself - and to Alan - if I were to not piece together more of the mystery.

Wish me luck.

The Last Airbender

OK, so this movie did a gigantic belly flop into the pool of Hollywood; so big in fact perhaps its belly burst open and the talented Shyamalan was ejected into a nearby cornfield where he will most likely stay banished for quite some time. Honestly, I hope the guy recovers and produces some more memorable stuff, because I like all of it. Perhaps he can focus on something low-key.

Netflix (Canada) is carrying this movie, which tells you something about the quality right there. My friend watched it and reported only good things, which seems to go against the grain of every single person on Earth. With a couple of hours to spare, I loaded the movie up and was expecting a rush of garbage delivered optically. And you know what happens when you expect the worst: you get the best. OK, not the best - far from it - but the thought/sentence needed to be completed that way. What I'm trying to say is this movie is decent.

You get bending. I love the idea of "bending." Four nations who can bend their element at will: earth, fire, water and air. As the title dictates this is about the last airbender (I guess they were all wiped out by the wily fire nation). He also happens to be the Avatar, who is a reincarnation of a being who can control all four elements. Basically, he rocks it hard. Unfortunately for some, this iteration of the Avatar only knows his native element, and needs help with the others, but that's besides the point.

It's just fun to watch: characters move in manner's I'm not familiar and it looks graceful, and these moves are what's controlling the elements. But I'm more excited seeing the ground erupt, blocking a giant fireball. Or when the water benders trap people in ice. In fact the least exciting bending is the title character himself, who  can manipulate air and really only Force Pushes people around. Granted, that seems to be the best and most unstoppable ability, but when he learns how to bend other elements the game gets really interesting. He takes some simple water bending and amps it up: why play with a bucket of water when you can just move the entire ocean? He oversteps his teachers and we get our Neo moment when his eyes and arrow-thing on his forehead start glowing. I need to see more.

This movie is based on a popular (Japanese) cartoon series (was it something else before? Probably). I know nothing of any of it, which evidently has bolstered my appreciation for the film. Character and plot portrayals and devices that stray from the source material are completely lost on me, so I'm allowed to enjoy the movie as a self contained entity and for that, I'm thankful, but I'm also now intrigued to seek out the original series and give it a watch. I may run into a couple of scenarios in doing this:

1. I'll love the series.
2. I'll love the series and despise the movie.
3. I'll love the series and forget about the movie because that sort of thing doesn't bother me.
4. I'll hate the series and applaud Shyamalan for making a better product.

All of these will end up in disappointment, of course. In the end I'll elect for option five: never watch the series and be disappointed that they'll never make a sequel to this film.

YouTube Channel

Apparently everyone has a YouTube channel? Here's mine:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TracerBullitt

Perhaps I should start posting links to some of my favourite videos. If you check out the channel it will list any videos I have "favourited" but also the ones that I have "liked" which is apparently two different actions.

Tiny Tower

There was this moment when I breached the doors of a 7-11 and saw a truly horrific site: Farmville themed cups and memorabilia. Not only that, but I believe they carried Farmville (and related games) cards - these cards that you can buy for real money, which translates into in-game money that you can use to presumably buy more useless things. I've never played the game so I can't judge too harshly. It is amazing the empire that has been built out of these casual games.

The iOS platform has not helped the cause here: games priced at 99 cents or even nothing, with in-game devices built to take your hard earned dollars and keep you playing well beyond when reason tells you to stop. Indeed, these games are designed to never stop and to keep you coming back. They follow a specific formula that is unbreakable and quite frankly, it' scary.

My friend introduced me to a game on the iOS called Tiny Tower. I'm on the lookout every so often for games for my iPhone because there just aren't very many that I find appealing. I spend most of my iPhone time on Reddit, and the occasional Angry Birds session. So I do a search for Tiny Tower in the App Store and discover that it costs nothing. This is not a good start. I download the game and start "playing" although you have to use that term loosely. I had no idea what was going on; you play a few rounds in tutorial mode, which is basically you stocking and building a floor, among a few other things. They throw you into the thick of it and I was lost. But, after some investigation and random clicking, things work out and I'm well on my way to building a grand tower.

Then I see it. I see how people get addicted to these casual games. I see the structure they put into place that keeps pulling you back in. You build a floor and decide what type of business should move in (including apartments that can house five "bitizens"). That place takes a while to create - every new floor takes longer and longer (I think it's taking about 15 hours to build one now and I'm at floor 30). That business opens, and requires you to stock product in there. In order to stock the floor, you need somebody to work there. And you need to build residential apartments for those people to live in. So people move in, then you can choose where they work.

Each bitizen has different interests and depending on where you put them, will perform better at their job (which equates to the cost of stocking the floor) and if it's their dream job, you get twice as much stock for the same price. When an item is in stock it starts selling, which is your primary income, which you use to build more floors and in turn, more business. It's a never ending cycle of building and stocking.

The horrible thing is, it takes no time at all. I can open the program and stock all the floors in 20 seconds, start the construction of another floor and be on my way. Place a few employees and we're laughing. Again, the problem is the cycle never stops: I don't believe there is a limit to the size of your tower. At this point in the "game" you can build a floor a day, with as little as five minutes invested. But you invest so much more, because you want to keep floors stocked: you are constantly checking their levels and pressing those buttons.

And it's all about waiting: you wait for floors to be built, stock to be filled and items to sell. You wait for bitizens to move in as you deliver them via elevator to various floors. And here's the rub: if you get impatient, you can use "Tower Bux" to speed everything up. You get Tower Bux slowly by finding people whenever requested, and sometimes your bitizens tip you. But you can use real money to buy Tower Bux in bulk, allowing you to quickly build your tower as you see fit. And that's where the microtransactions come into play and the developers make their money. The app is free but the gameplay is not. Well, being a patient individual I haven't sunk a cent into it, but I could see how I would. I've put a few hours into the game over the past week and it would only be kind for me to give a little. Plus, it helps my tower.

In the end, I'm addicted. I've now been taken into the Farmville cult without actually playing Farmville but one of its clones instead. I don't feel great about it, but let's be honest, I don't feel bad either. It's pretty harmless - so far.