Double Agent

Part of the fun of playing video games is being able to collect them, although the two don't have to co-exist. I enjoy doing both, and the collector in me forces my hand to enjoy acquiring games more than playing them. Recently, I found Splinter Cell: Double Agent at a local EB.

Chaos Theory was one of the best games I've played. It was polished; it was perfect. It was fun to play. Double Agent has something else going for it, but I was overwhelmed with excitement when I found it. The game is still $60 plus everywhere, except for one day at EB. They were practically giving it away for $34.99, and I still don't understand how it's possible. Of course I bought it, and a few days later, it goes back up in price. That's the thrill of the hunt right there: you know it was a good deal and you just secured it. And you know I'm a collector when I didn't play it for a week until after I brought it home.

There are a few issues with Double Agent, and you know there are going to be some from the get-go at the main menu, where a stiff female voice reads the menu options to you as you pass over them. I've never heard anything quite like it, and it really has to make you think: What has happened to the developers? Who is responsible for something as stupid as that? And if they are going to do that, why not implement it properly? Suffice to say, I wasn't expecting much after that. First impressions are everything.

I get through training but it wasn't fun: instead of shadows, they put you in an environment that is blisteringly bright. It's like that scene in the Matrix where he's in the white room that becomes filled with weapons, but not nearly as cool. After scoring the achievement points, I begin a new game on normal difficulty. This seems like the appropriate choice: "For people who have played Splinter Cell before." That's me, I conquered Chaos Theory.

The game was abnormally difficult. I love sneaking up on guys and grabbing them. It's fun. In Double Agent it is much harder than before, which I find quite frustrating. I was caught every single time, and reloaded at least two dozen times. Pretty bad, eh? After an hour of this, I restarted and played on Easy, which really was much easier, and I blasted through the first level.

At this point I can't help but think my Sam Fisher skills have gone. I stumble through the prison level and get into the main game, but that's where I pause. Should I bother to continue playing? There are "guidelines" on being a double agent, and many of them seem to rely on doing things in a timely fashion. I hate timers in games, especially in Splinter Cell. I want to take my time! Don't rush the best spy in the world with some artificial time limit. In Chaos Theory you could take your time, plan your attack and dispose of bodies at your leisure.

Majora's Mask was all about the timer, but they perfected the gameplay just so, that it worked very well. I'm not so sure it's going to be a good implementation in Double Agent. I'm wary of this game, and I don't want to be disappointed. I'll continue playing, but don't be surprised if I don't finish the game.

It seems that the Splinter Cell series is just like the original Star Trek movies except in reverse: all even-numbered games are inferior and you surely won't miss playing them. The odd ones here are the ones worth playing.

North Bay Galaxy

What is wrong with you, stupid theatre? The Galaxy moved into town a few years ago and just blew everyone away. This was a city that still had flat seating, small screens and monorail sound in their theatres. Along comes this place with just the opposite, and cheap prices too. And for a time, it was good.

I'm not sure when things started going awry, but I really took notice this past December. The issue: the theatre has stopped bringing in GOOD movies! It seems all we really get now are your basic movies for the masses (e.g. Night at the Museum, The Hitcher, Epic Movie). Casino Royale was playing here for entirely way too long. Stop playing these movies, free up some space and bring in the good stuff!

Surely there must be room: we have seven screens, which isn't terrible. Is it the demographics? When the theatre first opened it boomed: everybody was going to the theatre. I knew people who weren't going to the show for years, and now that this modern complex had opened, they could finally go and enjoy a movie now. When you take a look at the movies that play here, you would think the theatre is just catering towards children (i.e. with family movies) and teenagers, with these weird comedies and dumb action vehicles.

There are a number of movies that will never see the projector in North Bay, it seems. Children of Men. Pan's Labyrinth. Babel. Apocalypto. Definitely more adult-oriented, and definitely not in North Bay. Some of them make it in Sudbury, in which case I have to make a road trip and go see it, which is a bit of a hassle. Yes, I enjoyed doing that in the past, when the Silver City was a novelty, but I shouldn't have to travel to see the latest movie when there's a perfectly good theatre here.

Cyborg Batman's Melting Face

Why is it that cyborgs, when they lose their fleshy exteriors (even just partly) begin to move like robots? You've seen it before, in the Terminator movies, of course. Arnold moves like a human, right up until there's no Arnold left, and he's just the cold exoskeleton with those beady red eyes. But honestly, that's a bad example, because the cyborg can't move like a human due to limitations in technology (at least with the original).

I was watching a thrilling episode of Batman: The Animated series the other day where Batman's "soul" was essentially placed into a cyborg body that looked and acted the exact same as Batman himself. You couldn't tell the difference between the two, and indeed, when they fought each other there was little to give one away as the imposter. But all this stopped when the cyborg Batman had the honour of half his faced melting off due to some kind of acid being thrown on him. Half his face was of Batman, the other half: steel. And of course that little red eye.

As soon as this happened, his movements became much more robot like: stiff, methodical, "in-organic," if you will. And to add insult to injury, I believe you could even hear his gears going, as if all the sound-dampening was coming from his face. Perhaps there was no need to hide his true robotic nature: the gig was up.